Hate Me, Break Me
by chibichernikova
Summary: After Asriel's and Chara's deaths, Toriel has had enough. When Asgore follows her, he finds her in Waterfall, in the midst of her despair.


_**A/N: Hello! I return with another fic. This one's just a drabble, it's done, there will be no updates to it. I just wanted to clear that out of the way first. Anyway, this was inspired by the song Hate Me by Eurielle; it's a very good song, and absolutely laden with Asgoriel feels (at least for me). Of course, I had to write something about it! Anyway, thank you in advance for reading, and while appreciated, reviews are never required. I hope you enjoy this, and I'm sorry in advance for breaking your heart.**_

* * *

The rivers that flowed through the dimness of Waterfall were the source of the only sound, their gentle crashing of their cascades ringing through Toriel's head as her pace quickened. Her vision was blurred by tears, as it had so often been these past several days, yet her only thought was to get as far away from New Home as possible. She couldn't stop. She couldn't go back.

Her one and only love had broken her heart, and so soon after their children had been…

It was all too much.

Her steps slowed. She had run all the way here, and only now was she feeling the fatigue behind it. Oh, she was already so old, too old for this. She was a fool to believe she still had the energy she had had in her younger years. Adrenaline could only carry one so far, after all…

Toriel slumped against the wall, the rain falling from overhead in silence. The drops were cold as they fell onto her fur, as she expected them to be, and normally she would care about being soaked, but now was not one of those times. Someone could come along and attack her for all she cared, and she would not hesitate to allow it. She stood there, her tears mixing with the rain until she could no longer tell which was which.

Memories and thoughts played within her mind, over and over and over.

" _Mama! Mama, look! I can do it! I can make fire now! Just like you and Dad!"_

 _Oh, how proud she had been of her little boy. He was destined to follow in their footsteps._

" _Mom! I found someone! But… they're hurt, Mom… and I don't know how to fix them… Can you make them feel better, Mom?"_

 _She had healed the human without question. But what had caused them to still look so broken…?_

" _You are ours now, little one. I love you."_

 _Chara. The hope of reuniting humans and monsters… the hope of the entire kingdom. Asriel had adored them. The two of them had been inseparable._

" _Mom… Chara's really sick… I don't know what to do..."_

 _It had been too late. They were too far gone for even Toriel to help. The only hope she had was for them to wake up…_

" _Asriel!"_

 _The sight of her son, collapsed over the golden flowers. His body turning to dust. His eyes peering up at her, his gaze heavy, dulled with sorrow._

" _I'm sorry, Mom… I tried..."_

Toriel only realized the grip she had on her arms when she released it. She had been too late. She couldn't save him. Her back slid down the wall until she was on the ground, curled into herself. The sight of his soul shattering… it was one she never wanted to see again…

"Tori?"

The voice reached her, deep as it was. The goat monster raised her head to see Asgore standing not so far from her, clad in his armor, his violet cape draped over his shoulders. Curses. He was not supposed to see her like this. Toriel used the wall to pull herself back to her feet, her eyes narrowing at him as sheer anger pulsed through her. Who did he think he was, coming to her like this? He had to know she was furious at him, especially after that thoughtless declaration he had made…

"Do not 'Tori' me. What do you want?"

The words had sounded far more harshly than she had intended them, though she made no move to apologize for them. Instead, she stood, a glare fixed on him.

A weary sigh sounded from the king. "I wanted… I wanted to make sure you were all right. You disappeared when I turned my back, it seemed. I didn't want any harm to come to you."

He was avoiding her eyes, his own fixated on the ground, his head seeming to hang. He knew just as well as she did that she did not want him here. Even though the familiar pang of hurt stung at her heart again, Toriel kept her gaze on him.

 _It is not his fault. Not any more than it is yours._

Oh, yes, she _knew_ that. He had not sent Asriel to the surface any more than she had. She knew that, and yet, it was not enough to restrain her anger. That declaration of war had been entirely his own doing, however, and she could not forgive him for that. "That is a noble reason," she answered. "Do not think it will make me happy with you."

"Tori..." He approached her, a hand reaching out towards her. As much as she wanted to shove it away, Toriel allowed him to touch her, and his hand rested on her shoulder. "I'm sorry… I don't know what to do. I have to do what's best for the kingdom. If that means that those humans who fall must die, then it must be so. I never wanted to upset you."

His words infuriated her, and she pulled away from him. She had half a mind to summon her flames, to throw them at him, but she knew they would do nothing. They would do nothing to him, and they would not last in this rain anyway. "That is no way to solve this," she said behind gritted teeth. "Your plan is killing those who are innocent. I want no part of it, Asgore. Swearing vengeance against an entire race is not the solution!"

"What do you want me to do?" _There_ was his frustration; she could hear it in the way his voice rose. "We can't break the barrier any other way, and you know that, Toriel!"

"Asriel was able to break through it!" Her hands were trembling as she clenched them at her sides. She had never wanted to bring up their son in an argument, especially not so soon after his… "It only took him _one_ soul to do so! What is stopping you from taking one soul and doing the same? Are you truly going to be content sitting there in your throne until all the souls you need arrive to you?" What about this was he not understanding? Yes, Toriel knew that in order to break the barrier and return to the surface, death would be required… it was a difficult fact to process, but it was a fact nonetheless. Still… "You are content with doing nothing, is that what it is? You are _more_ than content with lying to them!"

She could see Asgore tense, even underneath all his armor. She was striking low blows, and she knew it. In the midst of her anger, she wanted him to _hurt;_ if he could even have an _ounce_ of understanding of how she felt, that would have been enough for her. That urging to use her magic was still within her, still pushing at the forefront of her mind, but… she couldn't. That would make her no better than anyone. In any rate, those who loved each other did not hurt each other.

If there was even any love between her and Asgore anymore.

"That's not it, Tori." The silence between them broke.,"I don't want to lie to my subjects. I... I cannot go to the surface. If I were to be slain by the humans as well, the kingdom will fall into disarray. It may as well not even exist anymore if that were to happen." He took a step towards her again, his armor creaking slightly. "This is why I _need_ you, Toriel. I can't do it alone. Please... Please don't throw this away. You are the only one I have left, and without you, I..."

As his voice died, her tears returned, welling in her eyes as she looked at him, threatening to fall once more. Oh, she hated seeing him like this. It pained her very soul to do so. He was close to breaking, the first time he had been since they had first discovered their son in the flowers. But... she still had to stick to her decision. It would be better for her if she did so. "I am afraid I cannot. I cannot sit by and watch you do this, Gorey. If even I cannot talk you out of it, then I cannot return, either."

For the first time since he had arrived, Asgore met her eyes, and it was as if his entire world was breaking within them. Like he was struggling to hold himself together, though the weariness within his gaze said otherwise. He was breaking, and Toriel could see it; he was _shattering,_ and it was no fault but her own. Everything within her told her to embrace him, to forgive him, to return home with him...

 _I just cannot. I cannot do it anymore._

Instead, she turned away from him, one hand on the wall next to her.

"Toriel... Please, Tori... You can hate me all that you want, I don't mind it... Just, please, come home with me. You know I still love you, I love you so much, and I always will... please..."

Asgore's voice was trembling. The grasp his sadness had on it was tight, so tight that it was palpable. And yet, Toriel could not bring herself to face him again, for if she did, she knew everything would collapse within her, around her.

Her own voice was flat, emotionless as she spoke again. "You should return to the castle. This rain is not good for your armor. It will rust, and you will be frozen here."

"Tori..."

"Goodbye, Asgore."

Toriel walked away.


End file.
